Christmas Jokes - 'Tis the Season to be Merry!!
'Tis the Season to be Merry.... Some Christmas jokes to share with your friends and family. ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶
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ツ★ “Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas?”
Answer: “No. You'll have turkey, the same as the rest of us.”
ツ★ Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?
You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
ツ★ Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The Turkey – He is always stuffed!
ツ★The judge asked the defendant standing before him, what he was charged with.
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," was the reply.
Judge: "That's not illegal!. How early were you shopping?"
Defendant: “Before the store was open.”
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ツ★ Father to three-year old: "No a reindeer is not a horse with a TV antenna."
ツ★ Teacher: "Johnny, define claustrophobia."
Johnny: "Fear of Santa Claus?"
ツ★ Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~ Larry Wilde
ツ★ One Christmas, I got a battery with a note saying "toy not included" ...
ツ★ A Christmas definition: The time of year when you exchange “hello’s” with strangers and “good buy’s” with friends!
ツ★ I know. People say "It's the thought that counts, not the gift", but couldn't people think a little bigger!
My Favourite Xmas Quote:
One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present. - Author Unknown